Sorry to get all complicated and stuff but. . . .
Words matter. Terms matter. What we say and how we say it matters a whole lot, assuming of course that you want to convey information and you want other people to understand it. If that were not the case then why bother saying anything?
So in this case, it’s important to define what it means to be friends with someone and I think it also is worth defining what it means to be nice to someone. If what Ellen said is genuine then it would have to hold true that she would have to be friends with Hitler and be nice to Hitler. And I think that is ethically tenable depending on how you define friendship and being nice.
See what I mean?
Personally, I think at the end of the day we have to be able to connect to feelings of love for every single person on Earth in order to have a civil, just, and peaceful society. So I would be okay saying I love George W. Bush, but he’s also a fucking idiot and a war criminal and there’s no fucking way I would choose to spend time with him. If I were to find myself spending time with him I would strive to be civil, respectful, and treat him as a human being, as I would want to be treated. We should all do the same toward each other every day.
I think Ellen’s error is that the way she put it sounded too sickeningly Disney.