I want to speak with my children.

Please, white Christian God of the United States and Rankin County, Mississippi, hear my pleas. Please let me speak with my children without giving me jail time. You are so humane and godly, please let me enjoy some time with my own flesh and blood over the phone in a way that does not give me time in your dirty, poorly run jail.

Maybe my error is that I am omitting my tithe. Would that help? If I were to pay enough money would I be able to speak with my children then, Christian Rankin County God?

Don’t make me get Jesus involved!!!

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