2021-10-09 @ 12:28; New episode of “I’m The Only Person Listening To This”; Listen now at http://anchor.fm/hourback/ πŸ™‚πŸ•ŠοΈπŸ•‰οΈπŸ’œπŸŒπŸŒŒπŸ‘½πŸ–– “I went through the trial with my ex-wife where she stole my kids from me and this is it.”

Watch/Listen to Amanda Knox on Joe Rogan’s Podcast

Great episode! Amanda Knox is a very compelling person. Listening to her describe her experience reminded me very much of my own experience with ignorant, blind power during my marriage, my divorce, and post-divorce fallout, going to jail, going to The Meadows/Gentle Path, listening to rooms full of people, sometimes “experts”, disagree with you and make you question your own sanity. Very scary! πŸ™‚ Very Orwellian. As the guy said, it’s possible to be a minority of one and still be correct. Never forget that, folks! Just ask Galileo.

I’m lonely. πŸ˜”

I won’t go into the whole divorce story, but suffice it to say my ex-wife stole nearly all of my family from me, my life, unilaterally, without just cause, out of fear and paranoia and insecurity. That was almost 3 years ago.

I slowly started building up a network of friends, including some that I considered to be family. But then my ex-wife escalated our conflict based on the same irrational feelings I stated above and I was forced to find a new home elsewhere, so I moved to the Pacific Northwest from Mississippi.

My life after moving there was pretty chaotic and unstable and so far I still haven’t met anyone I would really consider to be a friend, perhaps with one exception. But without a car still and having had to move again, farther from Portland, I am nowhere close to where I really want to be, unable to go where I want, and in an even smaller pool of compatible people, male or female.

And, for the record, dating apps as a method of meeting people either suck or I just have horrible results with them. (Hearing reviews from some of the women I’ve met, it might be that it just sucks for everyone.)

So I find myself really without any family, blood or not, nearby or far away, and without any friends that aren’t thousands of miles away. I try to remember to call some of them from time to time but not being able to physically be with people that I’m close to and care about is very depressing and leaves me feeling very lonely and isolated.

I know that once I build up my resources, finally get a new car, and move to where I want to be in a place of my own, I will be in a much better position for meeting the right people. That just seems so far away right now.

I was notified that there are additional assets from my deceased father’s estate.

This is bittersweet for many reasons.

Most timely among them is that there are many assets for my father’s estate that are going to my deranged and paranoid ex-wife. I’m glad that my children’s caretaker is getting some money to take care of them. That’s the good part. The bad part is that the bitch still has my last name and is still cashing checks from my family despite treating me, her link to my family, so coldly and stupidly. I would think that she might realize that she’s benefiting from me even while she is torturing and exiling me from my family. That seems a little twisted, don’t you think? It is probably lost on her anyway. She was never a really deep thinker.

Something else about this aspect of my life is that my father died in 2015 and we’re still going through this, uncovering assets. My father supposedly went to great lengths to ensure that his death would be a trivial affair and things would be taken care of in a timely and humane fashion, sparing his loved ones any bureaucratic or legal burden. But this has turned out not to be the case. I’m sure he would be disappointed. And whenever one of these things is uncovered it begs the question what else is out there?? He tried to make sure that everything was in order in trusts and whatnot well before he died. It seems like even when you go out of your way to prepare for things the system will still fuck you somehow.

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