I miss my fucking kids.
September 17th, 2020 to June 16th 2021, today. That’s how long it’s been since I’ve heard or seen anything from my kids, my ex-wife, and my mother-in-law. All of it stripped away in the blink of an eye. I hope you don’t believe in karma, Karen.
Dear Wesley and Elliott,
I’m writing this today, May 25th, 2021, but I’m intending that you won’t really read this with the ability to understand its context until years from now.
I miss you both so much. I wish that your mother had not done these things that she has done to rip up our family like this. I think she had the best of intentions but it is most unfortunate how it has played out.
I desperately wish to be able to speak with you and hear your voices again. I want to know what your lives are like. I want to know what you are doing in school. I want to know what you are interested in. I want to know what kind of toys you like. I want to know everything about you. But Mommy is not letting that happen. Please don’t think that my absence has anything to do with my own wishes. The only reason why I’m not with you every single day is because Mommy doesn’t want me there. If I had what I wanted I would be with you every single day.
I guess that’s it for now. 🙂 What else can I say. I don’t even know when you’re going to read this. I just hope that right now you know that your daddy loves you and is thinking about you everyday and wishes he could be with you.
Every time I walk home in the evening, down the sidewalk, down these pretty streets, I realize how alone I am in the world. And how I wish I had people with me, people who are dear to me. Those would be my children. And their mother is preventing that from happening. And I don’t think I will ever forgive her for that. And I hope they don’t either.
I have no family except for my children. My parents died years ago. My brother died when he was 19 and I was 21. My ignorant extended family on my mother’s side did not keep close touch with each other so they are pretty much a loss. My idiot father did not keep me in touch with my Persian relatives so I don’t have them. I am pretty much alone in the world. Except for the family that I created for myself, very thoughtfully and lovingly. And that family was taken away from me by one of its own members, my ex-wife, my petty, self-righteous, self-absorbed, eating disordered, omni-phobic ex-wife. Surely her way of thinking is the only way. What an unimaginative young creature she is and was. Well, I guess I’m young enough that I can start a new life for myself. And that is what I intend to do from this point forward. I finally feel poised to do so and I intend to do it with vigor and with lessons learned, very, very well.
Wesley and Elliott, I love you dearly and always wish you the best. 🙂💜😙 You always have a home with me if you want it. Please know that I wanted none of this to happen. I am so sorry for what you are going through and will go through in the future as a result of your mother’s decisions. I want to be an open book to you and hope that you will talk with me whenever you are permitted and willing. 💜
Please, white Christian God of the United States and Rankin County, Mississippi, hear my pleas. Please let me speak with my children without giving me jail time. You are so humane and godly, please let me enjoy some time with my own flesh and blood over the phone in a way that does not give me time in your dirty, poorly run jail.
Maybe my error is that I am omitting my tithe. Would that help? If I were to pay enough money would I be able to speak with my children then, Christian Rankin County God?
Don’t make me get Jesus involved!!!