What a mess you’ve made. In an effort to keep things nice and safe you have ruined everything that was special and sacred about our family. You have erased it, maybe permanently. And the fact that you can’t even bring yourself to utter a fucking word to me for nine months makes me think that you have no inclination to cooperate in any fashion in any context for any purpose. You are a useless thing in the world except for your own devices. You’re a selfish, selfish person. I hope you are happy with yourself and your little bubble that you have created.
Thoughts while walking home from the store this evening.
Every time I walk home in the evening, down the sidewalk, down these pretty streets, I realize how alone I am in the world. And how I wish I had people with me, people who are dear to me. Those would be my children. And their mother is preventing that from happening. And I don’t think I will ever forgive her for that. And I hope they don’t either.
I have no family except for my children. My parents died years ago. My brother died when he was 19 and I was 21. My ignorant extended family on my mother’s side did not keep close touch with each other so they are pretty much a loss. My idiot father did not keep me in touch with my Persian relatives so I don’t have them. I am pretty much alone in the world. Except for the family that I created for myself, very thoughtfully and lovingly. And that family was taken away from me by one of its own members, my ex-wife, my petty, self-righteous, self-absorbed, eating disordered, omni-phobic ex-wife. Surely her way of thinking is the only way. What an unimaginative young creature she is and was. Well, I guess I’m young enough that I can start a new life for myself. And that is what I intend to do from this point forward. I finally feel poised to do so and I intend to do it with vigor and with lessons learned, very, very well.
Wesley and Elliott, I love you dearly and always wish you the best. 🙂💜😙 You always have a home with me if you want it. Please know that I wanted none of this to happen. I am so sorry for what you are going through and will go through in the future as a result of your mother’s decisions. I want to be an open book to you and hope that you will talk with me whenever you are permitted and willing. 💜